It has been often impressed upon me of late how inadequate words are to express the feelings and thoughts of our hearts. Especially when I am having discussions regarding the deeper aspects of life - such as matters of religion, ethics, and the reasons people become the way they are - I feel a strong sense of frustration at my inability to communicate as well as I would wish. It is as if the deeper things of life are of a different language - one that is entirely different from any that humans possess - and when we try to explain those ideas in words that can be understood, so much meaning gets lost in the translation. To me, every word, every phrase, and every sentence said out loud is merely a shadow or an echo of the deeper meaning underneath it. As a result, I have developed a tendency to listen carefully to everything people say, often rehearsing the "scene" in my mind many times later in an effort to pick up the meaning that was left unsaid. This is a dangerous skill to practice, because it is very possible to read too much into any given statement; so it is necessary to be careful to acquire a proper balance - reading more into what is said than what is outwardly apparent, but not reading so much into something that it gains meaning the speaker never intended. I am only interested in what was genuinely communicated beneath the surface, not something that I came up with through a careless observation. When practiced well, there is much that can be gained from applying this skill in daily life. You can learn much about people, things they would never have willingly told you, simply through listening, observing, and contemplating the ways in which they express themselves.
I admit to analyzing a great deal as I watch the people around me - often people I don't even know. When such is the case, it sometimes happens that I will officially "meet" someone weeks after I first saw them and by that time, I will have already picked up something about their general attitude and character. It is for this reason that people have often commented on my "ability to pick up things about people quickly"; this has a great deal to do with the fact that I do not wait to "get to know someone" until I meet them. The moment someone walks into my line of vision or I have even the briefest acquaintance with them, I (rather subconsciously) try to learn about them. It is also true that after enough experience analyzing people, it is not difficult to pick up on certain tendencies and motives that are common to most people. This naturally increases the speed at which I can learn about people, because I already have experience to draw on to help explain what I see.
One interesting thing I have learned is that it is especially helpful to observe people in different settings and amongst different people, because I have found through extensive experience that people tend to act and speak very differently depending on their surroundings. As a result, one can acquire the most thorough understanding of a person by seeing them in many different areas and then combining the observations, resulting in one, fairly complete picture.
Interestingly enough, the quote that comes to mind as I write this post is a conversation between Elizabeth Bennet and Mr. Darcy in Pride and Prejudice:
"May I ask to what these questions tend?"
"Merely to the illustration of your character," said she, endeavouring to shake off her gravity. "I am trying to make it out."
"And what is your success?"
She shook her head. "I do not get on at all. I hear such different accounts of you as puzzle me exceedingly."
It is worth mentioning at this point that, for me, the most interesting people to observe and get to know are those who do not do what I commonly expect. I know enough about humanity and have seen enough of human behavior to understand what is common. It is those who go against this mold that more especially pique my curiosity (although all people pique my general curiosity). It is not my intention to infer by this post that I look at people only as a curiosity, much as a scientist observes an experiment. Perhaps it helps to mention that I analyze my own behavior and thoughts as well as everyone else's. Naturally, through the means of evaluation and contemplation, I have learned more about myself than anyone else. Overall, it is my intention in this post just to share general observations regarding how much can be learned about a person by looking closely through various means at what lies beneath the surface. For it is there, I think, that our true personality and character lies.
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