Endeavoring to Not Be Easy

Dating: the elephant in the room, a four-letter-word in some families, and an undoubtedly highly incorporated tradition in modern American society. People, particularly those mid-twenties and under, are often judged by how often or who they date. Though I hold a much different view of dating than is commonly found, I have been susceptible to the lie that you are only worthy of love and esteem if you have been asked out on a hundred dates and dated the popular guy(s). Over recent years, I have been building my confidence and learning to find my worth outside of this extremely shallow ideal.

Tonight, as I was looking through the pictures of a girl I know, I noticed a pattern develop: picture after picture included her and a different boy in various ranges of proximity to each other. As much as I care for this girl, one word came to my mind and refused to be brushed off, obstinately remaining prominent in my mind and, indeed, only growing stronger as I continued to flip through the pictures. The word? Easy. As this thought became fully developed in my mind, I was struck with a new idea (or rather, an old idea presented in a way that struck me anew). Dating constantly, being in numerous relationships, etc. is not the sign of being more beautiful, special, or worthwhile, but is often merely the sign of being easy - easily available. On the flip side, not dating constantly and instead, waiting for one person is not the sign of being ugly, lacking, or worthless, but rather the sign of being hard. Not hard-hearted or stubborn, but rather hard to win. As I said, this is not entirely a new idea, but it struck me with new force tonight. I want to clarify that there are exceptions to this idea on both sides and that every person will not fit into these categories. Still, it is an idea worth considering.

I am not currently dating, not because I couldn't find someone in any scenario, but rather because I refuse to be won over easily with a smile and a few kind words. The person who wins my heart will have to work for it. If he is not willing to, then he is not worth having. In the meantime, I am not pathetic for not dating just anyone. I am waiting, because I refuse to be easy.