True Love in Light of Shakespeare's Sonnet 116

In light of a previous blog post, I thought it only right that I now admit my deep love of Shakespeare's sonnets. There is one especially that I cannot stop reading and learning from. Though Shakespeare was not the greatest husband in history and could probably have learned from his own words more, Sonnet 116 is one of the greatest expositions on true love in history, in my opinion. His words about true love can be held in amazing and stark contrast to culture's words on the subject and are therefore all the more needed in society. As a result, I wanted to share them with you here. However, since I understand from many of my schoolmates that Shakespeare can be a little hard to understand, I am also attaching a paraphrased version that I found online which might help you to catch his meaning a little more clearly. I hope you enjoy it! I certainly do.

Let me not to the marriage of true minds Admit impediments. Love is not love Which alters when it alteration finds, Or bends with the remover to remove: O no! it is an ever-fixéd mark That looks on tempests and is never shaken; It is the star to every wandering bark, Whose Worth's unknown, although his height be taken. Love's not Time's fool, though rosy lips and cheeks Within his bending sickle's compass come; Love alters not with his brief hours and weeks, But bears it out even to the edge of doom: If this be error and upon me proved, I never writ, nor no man ever loved.

Here is also a clip from the movie "Sense and Sensibility" in which Marianne recites this very sonnet after her own love and trust has been betrayed by Willoughby.

Growing Up: Reminiscences and Future Plans

I have often concluded that the older I get, the younger I feel.

I always thought turning thirteen was the biggest deal and that I would finally be mature and adult and have it all figured out when I reached that age. When I finally did turn thirteen, however, I found that I felt much the same as twelve and was not at all adult. The same events occurred when I turned sixteen. Now with my approaching eighteenth birthday, I am feeling much the same way. I remember distinctly when my sister (over five years my senior) turned eighteen. I thought she was so old and mature. Now, as I approach that age myself, I feel that I am way too young to be turning such an "old" age. I don't feel that I am nearly as old at this age as my sister was at this age.

Perhaps what I feel even more keenly is not so much turning eighteen as the idea of going to college in the fall. As I have made plans and applied to colleges, I have managed to maintain an abstract point-of-view and to avoid the realization that I will be going to college in a matter of just a few months. Using again my sister as an illustration: I remember distinctly the day she went off to college, waving as the car drove away. I remember how thrilled and even awestruck I felt that I had a sister in college. I can hardly believe it's soon to be my turn. Though I've always known this day would come, it has always been in the distant future - an idea rather than a reality. I have looked forward to this day with such anticipation, yet now that it has almost arrived I find that I am not ready. It's very much like knowing about a trip to Europe since you were old enough to understand the idea, and looking forward to it, and making plans, and yet suddenly, one day you wake up and realize that it's the day of departure and you're not ready and your suitcases are unpacked. I know I have a little while still to get my proverbial and actual suitcases packed, but it still continually catches me unaware. Growing up is a scary thing, I have realized over the years. It's not something to be rushed. It will come soon enough - so soon, in fact, that one day you'll wake up and realize it's happened and you're not ready. I only hope that when that day truly does come for me, I will be ready...or at least not as filled with trepidation as I am now.

Searching for Prince Charming...in Real Life

So...after reading the title of this post, you may be thinking, "Oh, here we go again with another girl talking about her search for the perfect guy as she stares starstruck at her Justin Bieber poster" or maybe you think this is a sob story by a girl who has been dumped one too many times, or perhaps who hasn't been dated at all. Well, if that's what you think, then you're in for a surprise...hopefully.

You see, I'm not one of those girls. You want honesty, well here it is...I have never dated. "Wait," you shout, "You promised this wouldn't be a sob story!" How about if I add that it was my choice to not date? Puts your frustration on pause, doesn't it? Probably replaces it with bewilderment. I mean, really, what girl in this culture actually chooses to not date. "Oh, I get it," you say. "She's one of those feminists and this is her rant against men." Wrong again. I actually have nothing against guys (except that whole pants-way-below-the-hips thing...that's just awkward). So now you're really confused. "Okay," you sigh, "give me the bottom-line". So here it goes.

First of all, let me say that I am a normal girl. I like guys. I would be lying if I said that I had never had a crush before. I even have to admit that I tend to be a romantic - one of those girls that wants her future husband to ride in on a great, white horse and swoop her off her feet. However, I am also realistic.

While watching a music video by one of the nation's present top male pop stars, something occurred to me. Certain groups are famous (perhaps even infamous) for the huge following of girls they have flocking around them. One obvious example would be the Jonas Brothers. Girls look at them (and faint if they deign to look back) and idolize them and spend hours fantasizing about what it would be like to date one of them. All of this is a well-known fact. However, while watching that music video, I wondered if we girls actually are falling for those particular boys/men as much as we are falling for the idea. Now, hang with me, hopefully this will make more sense in a minute.

All girls want to be loved and cherished for who they are. You may find someone (or even be someone) who denies it, but deep down, it's the truth. We look everywhere for someone who will grant this desire; often this leads to us looking at and fantasizing about famous stars. However, I dare to say that I think it is not so much the fame, maybe not so much even the "hot" looks that appeal to us so much as the idea of being loved. I think we would be just as satisfied with the "boy next door" as the pop star if the former was the one to love us. The "knight in shining armor" can be a little dinged up, his horse can be a little shaggy...maybe he can't even ride a horse...yet so long as he loved his lady, I think she would consider him to be more handsome, honorable, and noble than any pop star prince in the land.

I realize that I am saying this so badly. My thoughts and feelings are not flowing onto the paper...or, er, screen in this case...as well as I wish, but I just wanted to put some of these thoughts out there. In the end, I guess I just wanted to tell every non-airbrushed and un-photoshopped guy to take heart. You don't have to be perfect to be perfect for someone. Girls don't need flawless, they need love like 1 Corinthians 13: 4-8: "Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends." But a discussion on the true meaning of love is whole different blog post...

Broken People

I wonder how many formerly innocent children have been the victims of divorce - how many lives divorces have been destroyed? So many times, I think we are tempted to look on divorce as only impacting and hurting the lives of the man and woman, yet that is so far from true. If the couple has children, they are impacted just as much.

I just watched the music video by Lindsay Lohan for her song called "Confessions of a Broken Heart (Daughter to Father)". I know how many rumors have surrounded Lindsay Lohan and have stained her career as ink stains clothing. People, particularly Christians, look down on her from all sides as the drug-addicted, therapy-regular, and the jail-hopper that we all know her to be. I am not innocent of looking down her just as much as the next person. Yet when I watched that music video, I wondered if it did not explain so much of how she became so messed up.

I understand personal responsibility. Lindsay Lohan can hardly blame her own actions on anyone else. Yet knowing her background helps me to understand where her downward spiral began.

Similarly at school, I hear of so many divorces...families broken...children estranged from their parents...fights that end in heart-rending tears... My heart bleeds for all these broken. The undocumented casualties caused by divorce must equal and exceed those of wars and cruel dictators.

You want another celebrity example? Look at Demi Lovato - the Disney sweetheart who has so much potential and is still so young. Already her career is beginning to be shrouded by rumors as she cancelled her tour and checked into therapy for "emotional issues". Again, one wonders what made her go wrong? Ironically, just as I was thinking of this, I found yet another song which I believe has not yet been released but that Demi wrote for her last album before deciding against putting it on the album. It is called "For the Love of a Daughter" and details her own heartache caused by her father.

People deal with pain in many ways, some move on and others are destroyed. Every physical abrasion leaves scars - if they are bad enough, some people resort to covering them with makeup so that they are no longer obvious. But how do you cover the scars on your heart? How do you reach so far inside to cover up what is so irrevocably torn?

All these stories of so many shattered lives break my heart. I wish so much that I could reach out to every scared and broken girl and boy.

If I have learned one thing from my research tonight, it is that I should not be so quick to judge others without knowing what they have been through that led them to who they are. Also, I have learned that I need to be more compassionate and loving towards those who I know are going through a painful experience. I need to listen more, to notice more...to be a better friend to those who need someone to be there for them. And I wanted to share these thoughts with you. Tonight has opened my eyes - I see past all the superficial success of this world and into all the devastation that is rampant in the hearts of so many. So many need to hear about the ultimate Healer, the most loving Savior, the only One who can mend so many broken hearts - Jesus Christ. I need to be a better ambassador of His Word. I know that if I truly want to help all the broken people of this world, the only true way is through the sharing of the Gospel. Any other help is temporary and only skin-deep. Only God can change the heart and give the broken-hearted rest in Him.

"Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.” (Matthew 11:28-30)