Pastels and Passion

As I was looking through several pictures of sunsets, it occurred to me that I often feel a sense of frustration with pastel colors, because they are reserved and muted, lacking power and boldness. They are pretty, but not necessarily beautiful. These gentle colors can be soothing, but they rarely match my passionate and active nature. I have always preferred vibrant colors - royal blues and brilliant oranges. These colors are moving, impacting. They are strong. In contrast, pastels appear almost passive. They are wall-flowers that last in the most temperate of climates, but quickly wither in the face of any challenge. As a result, I appreciate and enjoy vibrant colors more than those that remain softly in the background. Perhaps it is dangerous, or at least unwise, to have such a preference for the extremely bold or active. After all, it is those of passion that often make rash judgements and or throw themselves too fully into every endeavor and every individual. With this is mind, it is necessary to remember the advice of Benjamin Franklin, "If passion drives you, let reason hold the reins." Nevertheless, it is undeniable that brilliant colors always suit me much better than more temperate ones.

A Safe Place to Land

Tonight, as I was sitting on a bench watching the sunset, birds circled high above me and a thought occurred to me: sometimes I feel like a homeless bird, flying above all the diverse landscapes my experiences have exposed me to. I keep wandering from place to place and watch as friends come and go in my life. Over the course of time, everything continues to change - my surroundings, the people with whom I interact, and even myself. Yet all this time, I have never stopped wandering. I keep moving on and letting go. I try to settle down in one place with a group of people, but it never lasts. Something always happens to make me realize that this is not the place and that these are not the people, so I take flight again and keep moving. There is nothing and few people who stay with me throughout these changes. Finally, I realized that as I keep moving through life, I am constantly and unconsciously looking for one thing: a safe place to land. One place or person who will always be there, who I will never have to leave behind, and for whom, I will be able to cease flying and searching. The world is rarely a safe place, though often it tears the heart and soul more than that which is tangible. In such an atmosphere, it is no wonder that so many, like myself, seek a haven in which they can rest from their weary toil. Though no place or person on this earth will ever be perfect, there are still those who, despite their imperfections, can become steady rocks for each other and shelters in life's storms.

Worth the Wait

Everything worth having is worth waiting for.

Battle-Scarred

Sometimes it's okay to have scars. They're the marks of survivors - reminders of past events you've overcome. Reminders of the times when something tried to destroy you, and failed. After all, people only get scars if they've outlived the wound.

Run for the Roses

All the long, lazy mornings in pastures of green

The sun on your withers, the wind in your mane

Could never prepare you for what lies ahead

The run for the roses so red

And it's run for the roses as fast as you can

Your fate is delivered; your moment's at hand

It's the chance of a lifetime in a lifetime of chance

And it's high time you joined in the dance

It's high time you joined in the dance

From sire to sire; it's born in the blood

The fire of a mare and the strength of a stud

It's breeding and it's training and it's something unknown

That drives you and carries you home

And it's run for the roses as fast as you can

Your fate is delivered; your moment's at hand

It's the chance of a lifetime in a lifetime of chance

And it's high time you joined in the dance

It's high time you joined in the dance

- Dan Fogelberg -

Never Bending

There is a stubbornness about me that never can bear to be frightened at the will of others. My courage always rises at every attempt to intimidate me.

- Elizabeth Bennet -

No Self-Pity Allowed

My mother has given me many wonderful pieces of advice, but there is one piece in particular that I recall to mind daily and pass on to others when appropriate:

If you don't like something about yourself, change it. If you can't change it, learn to live with it. Either way, there's no point in being miserable about it.

Self-pity was not allowed in my house growing up and whenever I catch myself in the habit now, I still hear her voice, giving me that advice.

A Simple Inward Faith

Tell me what do you believe in

Does your life have rhyme or reason

Something in your heart that makes you care

I hope that you don't mind me asking

But I have got a burning passion

I need to know forever you'll be there

I can't make it clearer

Put it any other way

If you can't see the simple truth I do

Then there's nothing in this world that's left to say

But Jesus loves you

I know I don't have all the answers

And I have wasted many chances

To prove to you a faith that lives inside

I'm praying there will be a breakthrough

Cause I can't be the one to save you

God knows how many times I've tried

I can't explain

But I can't deny

So many times for you I've cried

And to see you on your knees tonight

I can't make it clearer

Put it any other way

To know you know the simple truth I do

And to know that your forever has been changed

Cause Jesus loves you

- Stellar Kart -

Like a Leaf in the Wind

For several years, I have felt as if I am constantly trapped in a complex world in the midst of a never-ending battle to balance all the diverse responsibilities of life. It seems as if what was once a relaxing, invigorating life has now become an exhausting time of rushing around, filled with stress and an infinitely long to do list. The opportunities to simply sit down and breathe, knowing there is nothing I must go do or take care of or think about are becoming rare jewels in my memory, not events of the present or even the future. I try to plan my future in such a way that someday, I will be able to have times of relaxation without guilt or a demanding time frame, but sometimes I wonder if it will ever be less stressful and fast-paced than it is now. If such is the case, I sometimes wonder how I will ever manage to keep up and quite frankly, what is the point of the constant flurry? There is something about this rushed, stressful pace that just feels wrong. Is this really how life is supposed to be? Are we really supposed to go through life frazzled and pressed until we can't even keep up anymore? It seems like that would be a horrible waste of the one life we have. Is this how we are supposed to spend it? Is there any other option? Or is it just a matter of perspective? There is a point to life, and I think it often gets lost in the constant demands of each day, until finally we realize that we spent our whole lives worrying about things that didn't even matter. Higher priorities can easily get lost in the midst of the tangible responsibilities that life presents, but that does not make them less important. Perhaps the only way we will be able to stay on focus is if we consistently stop to analyze how we are spending our time and energy and what we are worrying about, taking time to make the necessary adjustments. This always sounds much simpler than it is, but it is worth trying. I don't have all the answers and I don't have enough experience or wisdom to offer a definitive solution, but I have to deal with the realities I face daily. I don't want to spend my life running around and stressed about things that won't even matter in the end, while forgetting to focus on the important things that life is all about. I don't want to waste this one life. Each day, we need to slow down for a moment and just breathe, so that the days don't get blurred in the flurry of our lives. Remember, there is a meaning to life. It's time we acted like it.

Not All Who Wander Are Lost

“All that is gold does not glitter, not all those who wander are lost; the old that is strong does not wither, deep roots are not reached by the frost. From the ashes a fire shall be woken, a light from the shadows shall spring; renewed shall be blade that was broken, the crownless again shall be king.”

- J.R.R. Tolkien -

Grey Transformed into Sunlight

Pippin: I didn't think it would end this way.

Gandalf: End? No, the journey doesn't end here. Death is just another path... One that we all must take. The grey rain-curtain of this world rolls back, and all turns to silver glass... And then you see it.

Pippin: What? Gandalf?... See what?

Gandalf: White shores... and beyond, a far green country under a swift sunrise.

the Beauty in Being Open

“Being tender and open is beautiful...Don’t let someone steal your tenderness. Don’t allow the coldness and fear of others to tarnish your perfectly vulnerable beating heart. Nothing is more powerful than allowing yourself to truly be affected by things. Whether it’s a song, a stranger, a mountain, a rain drop, a tea kettle, an article, a sentence, a footstep, feel it all – look around you. All of this is for you. Take it and have gratitude. Give it and feel love."

This quote presents an idea truly worth considering. Being open and vulnerable is certainly the more risky option, but it is arguably the more beautiful one as well. I cannot always be this way, but there is a part of me that envies those who are. It is certainly true that we should never let someone else, or a circumstance, or event in our lives steal our tenderness. It is easy to be embittered by life; however, this is allowing outside influences to turn us into someone we would never have wanted to be. Don't allow anything to do this to you. Do not allow anything this triumph or power over you. Grow from every experience and allow it to make you a better person. This way you are not trodden over, but remain standing tall. I still struggle to follow my own advice in this area, but it is worthwhile to practice and to ponder.

Soaring through Life (Enjoying Every Minute of It)

Don't ever let the fear of crashing keep you from trying to fly.

Life isn't safe and sometimes you have to take chances in order to fully live your life. Don't jump off buildings or leap from a moving vehicle, but be willing to take the necessary risks that appear daily. If you spend your whole life avoiding things that might prove dangerous or painful, you'll avoid all the things that make life worth living in the end. Then what have you spent all your life protecting? An empty life? So be sure to live your life in a meaningful way that leaves you with more memories than regrets. After all, it's only the things worth dying for that are truly worth living for. Find those things and dare to take the risk.

Don't let the knowledge that it will soon end keep you from enjoying each song.

Often, we focus on the end of something - a vacation, a friendship, a relationship, or even a life - to the point that we can't enjoy it while it lasts. Instead, we need to stop focusing on the ending and be content to enjoy the music, so that when the end comes, we will have experienced and enjoyed something beautiful. If you spend all the time while the song is playing panicking about when it will end, you won't be truly listening to it. You will have wasted the time that it played. Everything has an ending, but don't ever let that stop you from enjoying it while it lasts.

Unashamed Assurance

“Doubt thou the stars are fire;

Doubt that the sun doth move;

Doubt truth to be a liar;

But never doubt I love.”

(William Shakespeare: Hamlet)

A Little Bit of Me

I have always been a thinker, curious and interested in the world and the people who inhabited it. When I was young, I was mainly concerned with the people I knew and the aspects of the world that I interacted with on a daily basis. Naturally, I did not really care about people in Greece when I was eight years old. I was curious about other places, certainly, but more in a vague and general sense. Even early on, though, I was a people-watcher and, on the rare occasions when we would go out to dinner when I was little, I would get caught up in all the people around us. There was so much to see and listen to. The world truly is an enchanting place when you're that young. Mostly, as a child, I kept my thoughts in my head as they were vague ideas that didn't lead to anything substantial. Still, I thought and, eventually, I began to write. I created fake newspapers about our neighborhoods or short stories about characters I had imaginary adventures with in my mind. As I grew older, my thoughts naturally became centered more around those issues that were widely considered to be more "important" than dolls or the neighbor's new pet. Certain things happened that made life more complicated; it gave me more to think about and figure out. I've always been a "fixer" - someone who wants to fix everyone's problems and make it all better. So I would write - scratching out ideas, solutions, and ponderings on paper, where I could read back over them and reflect. In many ways, I was just trying to figure out why things were the way they were. I began to collect journals full of this early writing. A lot of it wasn't really important. I rarely came to any conclusions. It was just my thoughts, as expressed on paper. Years passed, experiences grew, lessons increased, and my thoughts consisted of deeper things - arguably, things that actually mattered. Finally, close to two years ago, I started this blog in the hope that some of my thoughts would be helpful to someone else - that maybe somehow, something I said would impact someone else in a positive way; maybe to think about something new, maybe to think about something in a new way, or maybe simply to think. In any case, this blog was created for two main reasons: as an outlet in which to write my thoughts and as a way to share the ones I considered potentially worthwhile with others. I've posted over two hundred times since I began this blog. Some of my posts were quotes from others, some were songs lyrics, others were poetry, but mostly, these posts have been my thoughts. I honestly don't know whether this blog has had an impact on anyone else, but I'm still writing on the off-chance that someday it might. In the meantime, it still serves its purpose as an outlet through which I can investigate and express my thoughts. Whether that purpose is a tad self-indulgent, it is what it is. This is my blog and it has become one small part of me.

I Would I Were a Careless Child

I would I were a careless child,

Still dwelling in my Highland cave,

Or roaming through the dusky wild,

Or bounding o'er the dark blue wave;

The cumbrous pomp of Saxon pride

Accords not with the freeborn soul,

Which loves the mountain's craggy side,

And seeks the rocks where billows roll.

Fortune! take back these cultured lands,

Take back this name of splendid sound!

I hate the touch of servile hands,

I hate the slaves that cringe around.

Place me among the rocks I love,

Which sound to Ocean's wildest roar;

I ask but this - again to rove

Through scenes my youth hath known before.

Few are my years, and yet I feel

The world was ne'er designed for me:

Ah! why do dark'ning shades conceal

The hour when man must cease to be?

Once I beheld a splendid dream,

A visionary scene of bliss:

Truth! - wherefore did thy hated beam

Awake me to a world like this?

I loves - but those I love are gone;

Had friends - my early friends are fled:

How cheerless feels the heart alone,

When all its former hopes are dead!

Though gay companions o'er the bowl

Dispel awhile the sense of ill'

Though pleasure stirs the maddening soul,

The heart - the heart - is lonely still.

How dull! to hear the voice of those

Whom rank or chance, whom wealth or power,

Have made, though neither friends nor foes,

Associates of the festive hour.

Give me again a faithful few,

In years and feelings still the same,

And I will fly the midnight crew,

Where boist'rous joy is but a name.

And woman, lovely woman! thou,

My hope, my comforter, my all!

How cold must be my bosom now,

When e'en thy smiles begin to pall!

Without a sigh would I resign

This busy scene of splendid woe,

To make that calm contentment mine,

Which virtue know, or seems to know.

Fain would I fly the haunts of men -

I seek to shun, not hate mankind;

My breast requires the sullen glen,

Whose gloom may suit a darken'd mind.

Oh! that to me the wings were given

Which bear the turtle to her nest!

Then would I cleave the vault of heaven,

To flee away, and be at rest.

- Byron -