Looking Back from the Future

Together with my brother, I watched "Meet Joe Black" tonight. I'm not sure I would be as quick to call it good as I would to call it intriguing. [Warning: Spoilers] As most movies do recently, this one raised questions in my mind. The most obvious question entered my mind when Joe told Bill that he would take him after the party the next day is "What would I do if I knew I was going to die tomorrow?". Though that question is truly important and can cause enough worthy contemplation by itself, another came to my mind which I found to be, if not more important, at least more applicable to me at this point in my life. That is: "When I die, what do I want to have done or been in my life?" I guess the more cliche way to phrase this question is "How do I want to be remembered?" I don't care for this phrasing as much, though, because I am not as concerned with how other people see me, as how I look at myself at the end of my life. As I head off to college this fall, my future has been very much on my mind. What do I want to do with my life? What career do I want to pursue? Which major should I pursue? These are questions that have haunted me consistently throughout the past month or so. I have come to no definite conclusions, but tonight as I considered the aforementioned question (in italics) and considered my life from a reverse angle, if you will, I was struck with several thoughts. Right now, I am so consumed with the little details and with how my decisions will appear to or affect other people. While these things are important, when I thought about what I wanted to see when I looked back on my life, I realized that I need to do whatever it is I am called to do. I need to be able to be content with my choices. I can't do what I think will make the most money or what I think looks best on my resume. If I do, when I look back on my deathbed, I will be full of regrets and discontentment. I want to live my life in such a way that, whenever God calls me home, I can look back and say that I had a good life and lived it to the fullest. I want to do something worthwhile with my life.