Being "Strange" in a Culture of "Fitting In"

Last night, I stayed up quite late talking (or rather facebook chatting) with an old friend with whom I had not spoken in some time. Our conversation spanned a surprising number of subjects, most of which led us into rather deep discussions, usually regarding Biblical womanhood/girlhood. At one point, my friend mentioned that she has always felt "strange" and "unusual". I understand this comment completely as I have often felt the same way, and also know someone else who has expressed similar opinions of herself. Yet I know what is "strange" about my friend - she is very mature, she loves to read books, she thinks about and discusses deep issues, she respects and loves her parents, she adores her siblings, she has a high standard of modesty, she stands for courtship (rather than dating), and she worships God with her heart, mind, and soul. These are several reasons why she has always felt "strange". Ironically, these are the very things that endeared her to me from the moment I met her. My response to her comment was to remind her that God made each of us completely unique, whether we like it or not. This is the way we were created and the way we were meant to be. It is culture that desires to mold us into one entity, with one way of speaking, thinking, dressing, and acting. As much as individuality is championed in the public arena, it is quickly being crushed through peer pressure, advertising, and other mediums in which culture's persuasive influence is pervading. Christians have been influenced in this manner just as much as unbelievers, to the point where it can be found blatantly in the church worldwide, much to its discredit. I remarked to my friend that the fact that she found herself to be "strange" was a testimony to the fact that she had not allowed culture to mold her, but had kept the unique and wonderful traits that God has specially instilled in her at birth. This might make her appear "strange" in a culture where we are all encouraged (even demanded) to be one type of person (most often embodied by Hollywood stars and other celebrities), but in the same way as she is, all Christians ought to be "strange". 1 Peter 2:11 says, "Beloved, I urge you as sojourners and exiles to abstain from the passions of the flesh, which wage war against your soul." We are not of this world, therefore we should act differently than those who are. Just as you would instantly recognize someone from a foreign country (because of the way they speak, act, and dress), so an unbeliever should instantly recognize us for who/what we are for the same reasons. I once heard my pastor quote a friend as saying, "Don't tell [your neighbors] that you are a Christian, but when they find out, don't let them be surprised." If we act just like unbelievers do, when they find out that we are Christians, they will definitely be surprised. We need to act as foreigners and citizens of another land (the Celestial City, if you will) so that when they find out we are Christians, it will make sense and answer the question that has been in their minds about why we act the way we do.

Referencing back to my conversation...My friend responded to my earlier comments by telling me about a realization she recently had: that being who God has made each of us to be is hands down one of the best ways in which we can worship and honor Him. Even though I had heard this general concept many times before, I had never heard it exactly in these words. It struck me as truly insightful as well as truly freeing - that in simply allowing ourselves to be who God created us to be and growing in His grace, we are worshipping and honoring Him! We are acknowledging that He is the best craftsman and that He created us exactly as we should be. Whenever we try to mold into what culture wants us to be, we are in essence saying to God that we know better than He does about who/what we need to be. This is anything but honoring to God.

Likewise, my friend said that she feels closer to God when she's allowing herself to be "strange" than when she is worrying about what others think and trying to change. This makes sense because when we allow ourselves to simply be who God created us to be, we are closest to His design and more open to His will. When we want to change and mold ourselves into who culture wants to be, we are fighting against God and as a result, we will always find ourselves farther from Him.

As I write this post, I feel more and more convicted, knowing that I am one who struggles greatly with wanting to mold to who culture wants me to be more than to who God created me to be. Yet it is my constant prayer that God will create in me a spirit that desires Him above all else and that all of earth's temptations and fascinations will melt away in comparison. I guess I need to work on being more "strange" here on earth, because only then will I be able to truly "fit in" in Heaven!

Arise Woman Of God

Arise Woman Of God Rise up O woman of God In what He has given you The things God has laid on your heart Rise up, go forth, and do Unlock what God has placed within The potential you have inside The world is waiting for your release To expand your wings and fly Arise in your God-given gifts For this is your finest hour Arise in the Lord’s holy might Ignited and empowered For God is calling you to come forth To impact this world for Him Don’t hold back or limit yourself Let His power arise within And take His message to the world To those that have lost their way For you can surely make a difference If you’d hear His voice and obey You shall be strengthened in the Lord As you begin to arise Conquering those doubts that pull you down And believe who you are in Christ For you shall surely be transformed As, in you, God increases more And become a woman of true excellence Bringing honour to her Lord By M.S. Lowndes

Never Say Goodbye

As the excitement of my graduation (a week ago today) slowly dissipates and other aspects of life sink in, I am missing the people at my school more and more. My heart is full and I struggle to find the words to say to express what I am feeling. On the one hand, I want to move forward and embrace this new stage of my life. On the other hand, I am clasping tightly to the past year - hoping that some of my friends will stay with me. This goes back to my previous post on change. I know that it is a hard, but necessary part of life. Yet at this moment, I am feeling the bitterness of farewells and goodbyes. As I was thinking about all this, quite unintentionally the tune to a familiar song started playing through my head; it is "Never Say Goodbye" by Hayley Westenra. This song is more applicable to two lovers parting, but I think it applies even to friends. So in light of what is going on in my heart and my head right now, I wanted to share the lyrics with you.

If I could take this moment forever Turn the pages of my mind To another place and time We would never say goodbye If I could find the words I would speak them Then I wouldn't be tongue-tied When I looked into your eyes We would never say goodbye If I could stop the moon ever rising Day would not become the night Wouldn't feel this cold inside And we'd never say goodbye I wish that our dreams were frozen Then our hearts would not be broken When we let each other go... If I could steal this moment forever Paint a picture-perfect smile So our story stayed alive We would never say goodbye

Love is not for the Fainthearted

In this culture of divorce, living together outside of marriage, and all forms of casual relationships, I often hear people say that it is impossible to make a long-term commitment to one person. In a Hallmark movie, "Straight from the Heart", one particularly commitment-shy man says, "No one can promise forever and be sure they're going to live up to it!". Far from being the isolated cry of one individual, this is a belief popularly espoused throughout modern culture. There is a root misunderstanding about the nature of love, marriage, and commitment that has caused a culture of brokenness: broken homes, broken hearts, and broken relationships.

Love, as defined by culture, is an emotion...an infatuation which may be on fire one minute and colder than the mountains of Alaska in another. If this is true, if love is truly just a fickle emotion that cannot be controlled or sustained, the common belief of culture (that marriage and promising a commitment to loving one person for a lifetime is impossible and crazy) is correct. However, love is not just a fickle emotion. Love is a decision - a choice that we make no matter the circumstances or the state of the recipient. As revolutionary as such a statement is in America, it is true as defined, discussed, and defended in Scripture. This is one reason why deciding who you will marry is such a "big deal" or important decision. When you agree to marry someone, you are promising to daily make the choice to love and respect that one individual no matter what happens in the future or how you or your spouse change. The latter is a reason I hear often, particularly in Hollywood: "We're just not the same people we were when we got married. We've changed." While this may be and probably is true in the case of those couples who site this reason, it is not a valid one for pursuing a divorce. People change over time, that is just the way humans were created. This is one reason Christians advocate microevolution (note the distinction from macroevolution - the belief advocated in most liberal scientific communities). Small changes, physical and inward, are guaranteed to happen in life. So when you agree to marry someone, you are promising that despite those changes, you are still going to love and support that person. This is not an easy promise to make and should not be taken lightly.

In this culture, people say "I love you" far too casually. I have even heard some people say it to people they obviously detest. In 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 we are given a proper definition for love: "Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things." According to this source, love entails a significant amount more than culture would teach us. Every time I read this passage, I am struck with how much I don't love people the way that I should - even people like my family. In fact, it is impossible for humans to love perfectly since every part of us has been tainted by sin after the Fall; as a result, only God can do anything perfectly - including love. Nevertheless, we are instructed to love others by imitating God's love. Ephesians 5:25 instructs, "Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her..." At the beginning of this chapter, the author - Paul - says through the power of the Holy Spirit, "Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children. And walk in love, as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us, a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God." Christ's love is a sacrificial love - instead of a bed of roses, His was a wooden cross; instead of a lily-filled wreath, His was a crown of thorns; instead of a beautiful ring, He was pierced with nails. These are not easy footsteps to follow in and if we are to follow after Christ, our love must become something much greater than the "love" that culture advocates. It may even be painful and frustrating in that we may be forced to love someone who does nothing to deserve it and who constantly rejects us. It is in times like these that we must remember that none of us deserves to be loved, yet God does love us - so much so that He went to the cross and died for us, despising the shame.

So, backing up to the original premise, it is possible to promise forever and be sure you will live up to it. Why? Because this promise will not be based on a short-lived infatuation or the desire of the moment, it will be based on a continual choice that you will love this person, no matter what. However, because our human nature will fight against us in this resolve, we must find strength on our knees in prayer. God will hold you firm and help your marriage to blossom rather than wither. A marriage founded in such a firm resolve surrounded by prayer will not easily be shaken, because throughout the bad and the good, sickness and health, your love will not depend on the circumstances and as a result, it will last.

Love is not a place To come and go as we please It's a house we enter in Then commit to never leave So lock the door behind you Throw away the key We'll work it out together Let it bring us to our knees To some, love is a word That they can fall into But when they're falling out Keeping that word is hard to do Love will come to save us If we'll only call He will ask nothing from us But demand we give our all

Chorus: Love is a shelter in a raging storm Love is peace in the middle of a war And if we try to leave, may God send angels to guard the door No, love is not a fight but it's something worth fighting for

*Love is Not a Fight by Warren Barfield*

Why?

"Why?" is a little word - only three letters; yet it has huge implications and is often the first question we ask, out loud or inwardly, whenever something tragic, baffling, or just plain annoying happens. The answer to this question has the power to change lives, break hearts, and reunite those separated.

For me, I have found that this word helps me evaluate my priorities and readjust my standards and possibly behavior. I think it is good to ask this question regularly about our actions and especially our habits. Why do we do this? Why are we friends with this person? Why do we believe that? Why do we act in this manner? See, asking this question delves to the motive behind the outward appearance or the superficial thought. For this reason, it is also often avoided because answering this question can be painful, and it may just change you. You may not be ready for the power that "Why?" can bring to your life. Yet it is so important that we constantly make sure we are not just doing something because it was the way we were raised, it feels good, or we're just too lazy to do anything else. Those are not good reasons for any action or thought! Life is too short to waste time on less than valuable experiences, thoughts, and actions. If we settle simply for that which is easiest or most convenient, we are missing out on the worthwhile and wasting our lives. How can we tell if our actions have bad motives? By asking the "Why?" question. Of course, this question is not solely restricted to evaluating those actions that may tend to be lazy or useless - it can be used for all forms of conduct.

What brought this issue specifically to my mind is a movie I watched with my family this evening: "Cutting Edge". The story is about a young woman who has spent her whole life training as hard as possible with the best coaches and best facilities and best partners to be the greatest figure skater in the world and to win the Gold Medal in the Olympics. She has won countless medals, awards, and recognitions, but has never reached that ultimate goal - the Gold Medal. Still, she works towards it. She slaves and in the end tries potentially fatal moves in order to accomplish her goal. Now, while something can be said for her perseverance and admirable work ethic, there is definitely a point when you wonder why? Why does she do this? Why has she spent her whole life working towards one medal? Why is she almost killing herself in order to get this one thing? If this was truly her passion and her love, it might be worth it, though you still have to question the eventual sanity of the extent to which she goes. However, it wasn't her passion. At one point in the movie, her partner says to their coach, "You know, I think she doesn't even like skating!" The coach's response is to ask why the partner worked in a factory prior to skating? The partner's response is to insist that he had to. The coach's meaningful silence following this exclamation leads us to the obvious conclusion that she wasn't working this hard all these years because she loved the sport or truly had a fire to accomplish these goals - she did it because she had to. That was the answer to this "Why?" question. And if you ask me, the answer revealed a lot about the person and left a lot to be desired. Eventually, she realized that, at least in part, but maybe she would've endured less pain and stress if she had just evaluated her motives and priorities earlier.

Connected to this issue is that of one's standards and the behavior/thoughts that one finds acceptable in one's own life and in the lives of those you associate with. It is easy to let one's standards slide over time and to accept things that would before have been unacceptable to you. One problem I have observed in my own life, as well as in the lives of others, is that we tend to justify behavior by comparing it or judging it by our last actions or the last actions of those around us. If we keep this up, each action being just a little worse than the last, eventually we find ourselves far off the course with no idea as to how we got there. Instead of judging our actions by someone else's or by what we have been doing recently, we must learn to judge our actions by an objective, unchanging standard. The best standard, of course, is the Bible. This is the standard by which we must judge our actions, thoughts, and motivations. It can be frustrating and tedious to be constantly going "back to the source" (if you will), but it is what we are called to do as Christians, I believe, and is well worth it in the end.

Harry Potter: Fictional Fantasy Series or Dangerous Moral Statement?

Harry Potter - arguably one of the most famous (or infamous, depending on your point of view) fictional characters of all time, and definitely of the 21st century. The fever sets in every time a new movie is about to be released in theatres. Posters are put up, facebook statuses reflect excitement or condemnation, reviewers anxiously hurry to get their opinion fixed in black-and-white... The atmosphere is either one of excitement or nausea.

As I have expressed, there is a clear dichotomy of opinion between two groups of individuals. Though you, no doubt, could identify these groups without my assistance, let me be clear. The one group is composed of those Potter-fans who usually partake of the "fever" aforementioned. The other group is composed of the individuals who find the Potter series to be an evil, or at least unwise, influence. I do not condemn either group here, though I admit that I have often been inclined towards the latter. Nonetheless, tonight I decided to face the issue head-on by watching the first film (Harry Potter: The Sorcerer's Stone). To a great extent, I believe I was simply curious; but I do also believe that I am/had been lacking a firm foundation for the opinion that I hold and that I was hoping by watching one of the films, I would gain insight that would help me lean in one direction or another for good reason. I am not overly fond of calling something evil "because my parents say so". I grew tired of that justification long ago and, though I do lean on the opinions of my parents since they are wiser and have had much more time to learn and consider the issues than I have, I do desire to make my own judgements based on my own research in the matter. I do my utmost to not make rash decisions or unfounded ones. So, tonight, after watching the first of the Harry Potter films, I wish to record my opinion - that is, my first impression.

"Harry Potter" is about a young boy of the same name who is orphaned, made to live with dreadful relatives, and then sent to Hogwarts to study magic. At Hogwarts, Harry becomes involved in a mystery involving "the Sorcerer's Stone" along with his best friends - Ron and Hermione. As this first movie plays, it seems to be a fairly innocent movie in the fantasy genre. Yes, there is magic. Yes, Harry and his friends are wizards/witches. Does this make it inherently bad? I admit that I was uncomfortable with references to incantations and cauldrons (mostly because it forced me into recalling my somewhat scarring experience reading and watching the play, Macbeth). These are clearly elements of witchcraft, as condemned in the Bible... Harry Potter is undoubtedly and undeniably about witches and wizards. Let us start with this rather obvious fact.

The main argument that I have heard against the Harry Potter series is that it is about witches and witchcraft - expressly condemned in the Bible. I find it difficult to refute this argument, as I know that it is true. Yet, because witchcraft acted out in reality is evil and condemned in Scripture, does this mean that is it harmful to make up fictional stories about witches - good and bad? I keep going back to the fact that these are fictional books. Fantasy. Though witches do exist, cannot the witches of Harry Potter be separated from real-life witches by the realization that they are completely different creatures in terms of moral implications? I don't know.

Yet another angle of this issue that I have not yet addressed is this: Harry Potter is not the only series (book or movie) to involve witchcraft, and if we reject the former on this ground, are we not similarly obligated to reject the others? One series that comes to mind is the Lord of the Rings. Gandalf, one of the main heroes of the series, is a wizard. The chief antagonists of the series are Saruman and Sauron - both wizards. I have rarely heard these characters condemned on the grounds of involving witchcraft. A part of me wonders, if this is the problem with Harry Potter, why not the Lord of the Rings as well? And, just to clear the air, I love the Lord of the Rings very much, both as books and movies. But I have to follow the moral implications of my decisions through to their logical conclusion - including their impact on other books, series, etc. Even the Chronicles of Narnia (one of the best series in history, in my opinion) contains magicians and some elements of magic. Again, is this wrong?

I think one of the main concerns that people have with Harry Potter is that it will impact youth into accepting and pursuing the lifestyle of witchcraft. I think that this is a fair concern when applied to the younger adolescents (those 16 and under, perhaps). However, at a certain age, one could hope that a certain discernment and maturity has developed to the point where a movie such as Harry Potter would not have such a powerful affect on one's morals that should already be fairly firm. In which case, I don't really see the harm in watching it. After all, how many movies do we watch daily in which there are couples who live together outside of marriage, or girls pregnant in high school? Why do these usually not get the reaction that Harry Potter does? What I have often said in response to questioning the ethics of watching such movies is that they will not affect me, because I already have a firm belief against sexual relationships outside of marriage. No movie or book is going to change that opinion. I stand by that. Yet, why can we not give the same justification for watching Harry Potter? I believe that people of certain maturity, standards, and beliefs can. Yet I also think that people, particularly youth, who are easily swayed and cannot separate an enjoyable movie from the lifestyle in reality should not watch it, lest it should tempt them to make unwise and potentially morally disastrous decisions.

I think this is a fair assessment. In the end, I believe it to be an issue of personal discernment including a knowledge of one's self and one's foundation. If it is a firm foundation, I do not think the Harry Potter series is a bad source of entertainment when kept in its proper place and as understood as a fictional fantasy series. However, if it is a weak foundation and you find yourself uncertain how such entertainment would influence you, I would advise you to stay away. In any case, I would not recommend the series to anyone under a certain age as such a foundation has not had a chance to become firm, whether it will in the future or not, and discernment is usually wanting.

Before concluding, there is one other thing I would add: As I have watched the movies, I find that the worldview-analysis training that I have received all my life and especially this last year at school is coming into play. I find myself constantly contemplating each statement and listening for its moral implications and origins. In this way, I think the Harry Potter series can actually be a helpful tool. With such training, I do not think I am as likely to fall prey to any negative ideas that may be portrayed in the series. Perhaps this is unwise of me, but, after carefully considering the series' impact on myself thus far and analyzing the morals of it, I do not think so. I can simply enjoy the series as a fictional story about interesting characters without this enjoyment at all impacting my moral beliefs on the issue of witchcraft.

So here I conclude. I do not put this post up as an objective source of wisdom or final opinion. I simply put it up as my own opinion after my own consideration.

A Time for Everything

1For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven:

2 a time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted; 3 a time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up; 4 a time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance; 5 a time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing; 6 a time to seek, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away; 7 a time to tear, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak; 8 a time to love, and a time to hate; a time for war, and a time for peace.

This verse has been passing through my mind repeatedly today - that is, my last day of high school. This year has been a hard one in many ways: a year full of adjustment as I started attending school for the first time in a structured environment. It took a lot of getting used to, but in the end I did, and surprisingly by the end, I had begun to actually enjoy it. Now, as I am just now starting to make good friends, I find that it is time to leave and move on with the next phase of my life. I feel that I am not ready to leave yet. Of course, I will not miss most of the classes (with the exception of Senior Bible which I will miss tremendously) or the homework, tests, or quizzes; but I will miss many of the students. I have gotten used to seeing them daily and hearing about their lives, hobbies, and habits. It will be odd to have that constant communication and sharing-time removed. I find myself hoping that we will see each other often throughout the summer and even our college years. Still, it is hard to leave. This bittersweet mix of emotions is what brought the above passage of Scripture to mind. I have to remember that, even when it is hard, in the good times and the bad, there is a time for everything and nothing can remain forever. When it comes right down to it, I don't think we would want any one time in our lives to last forever - as much as we say we do. We were made creatures of change. From the natural biological changes that are constantly taking place in our bodies to the outward-changes in our environment, family, and friends, we are constantly changing. It is a part of who we are and I think we might become bored or discontent with the same exact personality, tastes, and circumstances throughout our lives. Nonetheless, change can be hard when it comes and it sometimes takes great strength to move on.

As much as we are creatures of change, we are also Epicurean creatures - that is, creatures that live for comfort and pleasure. One of the things we chiefly find comfort and pleasure in as human beings is anything that is familiar. Change is, by definition, unfamiliar unless it is a change back to something in the past. As a result, change is usually unwelcome and intimidating. This is one of the main reasons, I think, that we seniors have trouble leaving school. Even for me, it has become a familiar place with set patterns and expected standards of behavior. Moving on with my life, all will be different and I will not know what to expect. This can be exciting, and it can also be nerve-wrecking. My comfort is the above-quoted Scripture passage. That, and knowing that one thing in my life will never change - that is, God. He remains the same yesterday, today, and forever. He is my Rock and with Him as my refuge and my strength, I have nothing to fear. This is a truly encouraging thought!

So as I move on with my life, I know that, no matter what happens in the future...no matter who/what I lose or what I gain...I know that God will support me throughout it. With Him at my side, I can face this change with anticipation rather than dread, and strength rather than weakness, joy rather than sorrow. And I am glad! Throughout my life, may my motto always be Soli Deo Gloria!!

The Case for Christ

"The Case for Christ" by Lee Strobel